If Only By Rev. Dr. Tim Ahrens

^“When Mary met Jesus, she looked at him, and then fell down at his feet. “If only you had been here, Lord,” she said, “my brother would never have died.” John 11:32, J.B. Phillips New Testament translation 

Mom was beside herself.  Her daughter was found dead in her apartment.  She had died by suicide.  Mom was inconsolable.  I listened as she rambled hysterically through a long list of “if onlys.”  

If only she had called earlier that day…. 

• If only she had brought her home the day before…
  • • If only she helping her take her medications every day… 
      • If only she had not had access to a gun…
        • If only…
          • If only…
            • If only…

My mind flashed to Mary grieving the loss of her brother Lazarus.  He had died four days before Jesus arrived.  The funeral was over and the body was decomposing in the cave.  The family was grieving and Lazarus’ sister was beside herself as she said to Jesus, “if only you had been here, my brother would never have died.”

 I am not sure of Mary’s tone when she spoke to her friend, Jesus.  Was she pleading or bargaining?  Was she angry about his later arrival?  Was she whispering in deep grief? Was she simply stating the facts, the truth of the matter – Jesus would never have allowed her brother to die?   

Whatever the case, Jesus was deeply moved to tears by the distress and pain in Mary’s “if only.”  He went to the tomb.  He stepped into the stink.  He raised Lazarus to new life.  Mary was right.  Her “if only” was true.  

As I came back to the mother grieving before me, I wondered how I help.  I started to cry as I saw her face writhing in pain.  I couldn’t help myself.   I reached out and held her hands.  Her breaking broke me.   We melted in the trauma of ‘if onlys” together.   Unlike Lazarus, there would be no rising from the dead. Her daughter was not coming back.  But, like Mary and Jesus, the unquenchable pain of this mother’s distress had brought me to my knees by her side. 

• If only we could go down to the grave with people and crumble there with them… 
  • • If only we could be more human when people reach their lowest point…
      • If only we could enter into the pain of others when they need us most… 
        • If only, we, like Jesus, see the wonder of what God can do…  

If only, we could be so present to others in their time of loss that we could say, as Jesus said, “Now unbind him and let him go home” (John 11:44). 

• If only…
  • • If only…
      • If only…